Santa Claus is coming to town. Which got me thinking about
some of the naughty and nice women I have known over the years. Now I’ll be
the first to admit, right and wrong are in the eye of the beholder. Most of us
agree on basic things like murder. Murder bad. But a lot of this stuff is up to your personal code. I’m a believer in
what comes around goes around. My life goal as I get older is to keep more good
stuff heading my direction than bad. Wish me luck. But everyone’s different and you gotta respect that.
So let’s get
started, And if you think you see yourself in one of the XX’s described below,
you’re mistaken. As they say in the movies: "The events depicted in this story are fictitious. Any similarity
to any person living or dead is merely coincidental."
Maybe.
Hearty Laugh Girl:
Sure, lots of XX’s can laugh. But I have worked with a woman whose laugh
is so powerful it could double as a warning siren in case of emergency. I
can’t tell you how wonderful and joyous that laugh was to hear. Especially from
a slight distance.
Smiling Backstabby Girl: Feels like a lot of work to me to
pretend to be nice while secretly plotting evil things to do when one is
not looking. Unfortunately this is a minor league sport in some XX groups. Fortunately
I have had limited exposure. (Sorry, I said I wasn’t going to judge, didn’t I.)
Swear Like A Sailor Girl: I have an XX coworker who drops
the most descriptive, original swear phrases I have ever heard in my life. I
wish I could write them down here but like vertical striped tights, I don’t
have the equipment to pull it off. I
could listen to that girl for hours, waiting for the next unbelievable
expletive to drop. She may be the single most creative person I have ever met
in my life.
Strange Noise Girl: Okay maybe this is off task a bit but I can't get it out of my head. Years ago I worked with a woman who
made strange noises in meetings. By “strange” I mean in the
spectrum of the much-overused Meg Ryan ‘When Harry met Sally” scene, imagine
you’re about 20% of the way in. That’s the noise. I remember having a secret
dream sequence in which I lean over to her and ask her to put both hands on the
table where we can all see them. I never lived that dream unfortunately.
Heart of Gold Girl: I have been fortunate enough to
know several of these. Many have been coworkers. One I count among my very best
friends. She would do anything for someone she cares about. At any personal
cost. I am humbled that she calls me “friend.” Another is my sister. I don’t
know how she does it, but she maintains a sweetness and goodness that makes me
both proud and intimidated at the same time.
Don Rickles Girl: Maybe you don’t know Don Rickles, he is a very
old comedian who makes jokes by belittling others. I remember how much my mom
hated Don Rickles when I was little. “Why does he have to be so mean?” she’d
yell at the tv. Don Rickles Girl knew why. Just like writing a basher blog, it’s a lot easier to pick on the bad stuff.
I don’t know what she’s up to these days, but I sure hope she’s not
counting on the same “comes around goes around” code that I believe in or she’s
toast. (Whoops I did it again.)
Of course, I am pleased to say, my life and my career have
been blessed with many more amazing, thoughtful, supportive, funny, kind, and loving
XX’s . Some I’ve known for years, some I only met weeks or even days ago.
Dear
Santa: Please be as generous to them as they have been to me.
Happy Holidays.
